Wednesday, September 21, 2005

le jardin d'Eden

The most important thing when designing an Israeli Sex Banner is good music.
i chose Depeche Mode's singles. it works great when it playes "master and Servant".

and suddenly I started remembering why i started Liking Depeche Mode. it all started with a girl that i knew (and sadly not in the biblical term) when i was a soldier doing my time in that depressing olive green israely army. she was something else. special. she had the most unique face. mysterious, dark haired with cat-like face, who could turn any straight woman to a hot lesbo, and the pope into a fanatic following of her. off course (to me off course) she didn't gave me a chance. it's not that i tried, i was too fucking shy. but she really treated me as an ordinary and slightly stupid person. which in a way, i was. childish and totally not prepared to live by the rules of my age. it hurts to think about it, but when recalling that time, i can clearly see all the humiliations i had to bear when i didn't understand myself and the world, and vice-versa. i remember a distinct feeling of being ordinary and boring, and not interesting at all. i didn't know i was special. it was all too hard. it's still is, but somehow i try to grow and survive.

the only magic moments i had with her, was when we shut the fuck up and watched the rain piercing the ugly Eucalyptus trees and those rotting old asbestosis buildings. the world seemed so beautiful and ugly at the same time. she was one of the few persons who liked the rain as i do.

she was into 80's, and especially Depeche Mode. she would go to to 80's, Depeche, and EBM nights in the Lilenblum club at Tel Aviv. sometimes i would go. i thought it was just for fun but actually i wanted to see her, to talk a few blank sentences that faded in the smoky air and crashed on the wooden floor. later i understood so many things about myself. one of them was that now like that i like 80's and Depeche music on my own, and that i like(d) dancing to drumn'bass and breakbeat.

times passed, we both finished our service and i grew.

later i would keep a faint relationship with her. i once found a picture of her, from one of these party pictures published in the net. she was sleeping on a club sofa like a sleeping beauty, her hair spreading like spider webs. it was so beautiful yet unreachable, something like the Garden of Eden, that made me want to cry.

Nowadays the love has faded, but it still makes me sad to think about her and know that it would all go back when i might meet her. i heard that someone i knew from back then, was lucky and now they are friends. and in a way im slightly happy, because it's no longer my burden, and now he's happy with her.
Two links - wow & WOW


Blogger Akasha said...

you know what, when i think of the 8o's, i think of my first boyfriend, and all those Depeche Mode songs that we enjoyed.

oh well, i guess, songs are really meant to remind us of something from time to time, that's why they have it recorded, right? so that we could hear it again and again and again...and be reminded of the things that we used to do, like, love, etc...

nice entry...keep writing man!


7:50 AM  
Blogger dark-forest said...

thanks deity, your sweet.

10:26 AM  

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